Surviving a desert island

Imagining the necessities I would need for survival on a desert island can lead me one of two ways. I could either choose the sensible option of equipment that would prolong my life until I’m rescued or expire, or take the other path and select items as ill thought out as a Government healthcare website.

So the healthcare. gov route it is.

When I’m stranded on a deserted island in today’s age the likelihood is that I will never be rescued. I will have been travelling by plane or boat and both of them have GPS systems that allow rescuers to track where I disappeared. If I am truly lost, then there will be little hope for me. I may as well be stuck on an island that is a metaphor for limbo with random numbers, polar bears and that guy who played a hobbit.

Some form of electricity generation.

I’m not saying this needs to be a full on nuclear power plant as I know what happens when they go wrong. Just some other method of being able to run any electronic devices I may have with me on my island. They may be a spoiler, but pretend to be shocked when I come on to Smartphone.

A Smartphone

One that has GPS and Google Maps on, it will help me work out if I am stuck in the middle of the Pacific with no hope of rescue, or just the other side of a Sandals resort. Nobody wants to be the guy who started drinking his own pee when just a few miles away there was all you can drink margaritas. Plus, you can preload some films and games on to pass the time. Finally, a way to catch up on all the Peak TV I have missed.

A pair of sandals

Handy for the beach (which could have hot sand) and walking in the jungle (where it could be thorny). I know that given time the skin on my feet will get hard and give some protection like nature intended, but rather than getting septicaemia while I wait for the callouses I’ll just settle for some sensible footwear.

Twenty tons of McDonald’s

If I will die I might as well choose my death and I pick heart disease. It is not the most nutritionally balanced option but given the fact I may not hunt for my food (because I’m not a natural hunter so will starve before I become proficient) I’ll take the one foodstuff that never rots. Seriously, it doesn’t go off thanks to all the preservatives. After the apocalupse all that will survive are cockroaches, Lego and Big Macs.


Because protection against the sun is still important.